if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
