Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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