Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
