I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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