Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
