He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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