if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
