You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
