At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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