D3 body, D1 cock
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
