he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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