For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
