I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
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