what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I understand Curling. That high.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
