i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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