fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I've blown a few things in my day
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
