I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
