i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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