so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
