am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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