Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
