i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
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