Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I understand Curling. That high.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
