Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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