Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
then he tried to convert me to islam
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
