I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
