so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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