So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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