I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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