I think i peed on brittanys purse
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
