I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
