I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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