when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Randomize
