every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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