biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
