is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Watching her eat just hurts me
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
whose parrot is this?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
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