it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
