a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
