Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
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