I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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