FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
