you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
