$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
