I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
