is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
