Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
