We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
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