It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I need moral support for this bender
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
3 2 1 whiskey
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
