Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
