Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
