my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
this just has baby written all over it
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
