woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I have post one night stand depression
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
