So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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