smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
