I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize