I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
