Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
