so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
