He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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