come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Randomize
